Pokemon yet another fanfic: The UNTalented Misty
by Sage of Darkness
Summary: The third in the Pokemon comedy series. To celebrate Ash's 2nd 10th birthday (don't ask), the crew visit the S.S. Anne.


_Disclaimer: Pokemon, Misty, Ash, and just about anything else you recognise belongs to Nintendo and GameFreak. This story is created for Entertainment purposes only and no commercial profit is being made through the use of these characters._

**Pokemon: Yet another fan-fic:****  
****The UNTalented Ms Misty**  
  
_This story is dedicated to Hanakia. Happy Birthday!_  
  
Saturday, 9th Sept 10:00am the middle of nowhere  
  
A narrator enters, wearing a bright pink mask, an orange kilt and a pale green T-shirt.  
  
Narrator: Hello! And welcome to the next fic in Seadra's marvelous fan-fic collection! What adventures will our heros have today? let's find out!  
  
Brock: Hey... you're not our usual Narrator...  
  
Misty: Yeah, he's being too...happy...  
  
Author: Yeah, the other one quit. I had to find a replacement on short notice.  
  
Narrator: But we'll all still have jolly good fun, won't we?  
  
James: Hey! I like this Narrator! He's like Laa Laa!  
  
Brock: God, don't tell me he's still watching teletubbies!  
  
Jessie: Well, he just couldn't break the habit.  
  
Narrator: There's nothing wrong with watching teletubbies!  
  
Slowly, everyone turns to face Narrator.  
  
Misty: There's something familiar about that voice...  
  
Narrator: Don't be silly... I've never met you...  
  
Ash: Hey, what's that thinggy at the top?  
  
Misty: Huh? At the top of what?  
  
Ash: On the top of the page!  
  
Brock: What page?  
  
Ash: You know, the page!  
  
Narrator: Oh! It's the thing on the top of my script! let's see what it says: This story is dedicated to Hanakia. Happy Birthday! Oh, It's someone's birthday! How splendid!  
  
Ash: Hey, It's my birthday too!  
  
Brock, Misty, Jessie, James & Meowth: It is?  
  
Ash: Yup! I'm ten!  
  
Misty: I thought you were already ten?  
  
Ash: I was. I still am.  
  
Brock: Then how can it be you're birthday?  
  
Author: Hey! You're getting off track! It's his birthday and that's that! And Team Rocket, You're not even supposed to be in this scene!  
  
Author points to the script.  
  
Jessie: But we haven't seen the script.  
  
Author: That's enought from you! Go away!  
  
For no apparent reason, Team Rocket go flying into the sky.  
  
Team Rocket: Looks like we're blasting off again!  
  
Narrator: That wasn't very nice! All the little boys and girls should play together!  
  
Author: Well, I'm not a nice person. Just continue the story, okay?  
  
Narrator: (Sighs) if you say so. Misty, Brock and Pika... hey, where is that cute little Pikachu?  
  
Everyone looks around blankly.  
  
Misty: He's dissapeared!  
  
Brock: No duh.  
  
Ash: (calling) Pikachu! Pikachu! PIKACHUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU!!!   
  
Misty: Ow! That hurt my ears!  
  
Brock: Uh, Ash? I don't think Pikachu is here.  
  
Ash: Oh. I'll just have to shout louder then.  
  
Ash takes a deep breath.  
  
Brock, Misty & Narrator: NO!  
  
Ash: Why not?  
  
Misty: We'll find Pikachu later, Ash.  
  
Ash: Okay.  
  
Brock: Now, let's go to the S.S Anne!  
  
Misty: Why?  
  
Brock: Because, it's in the script.  
  
Misty: Oh. yeah.  
  
Saturday 9th Sept 7:00pm Vermillion City  
  
Misty: Finally! We're here!  
  
Brock: It's about time. We would have gotten here quicker if Ash hadn't gotten us lost!  
  
Ash: Hey, how was I supposed to know where Vermillion City was?  
  
Misty: Because there was a sign that said Vermillion City!  
  
Ash: Where?  
  
Misty: On the road!  
  
Ash: What road?  
  
Misty: THE ROAD WE'VE BEEN WALKING ON FOR THE LAST SIX HOURS!  
  
Brock: Now, don't get upset, Misty.  
  
Ash: Yeah! You would have made the same mistake!  
  
Misty: No I wouldn't! I'm not as thick as you!  
  
Ash: I'm not thick! You're fatter than me!  
  
Misty's head grows to a rather large size.   
  
Narrator: Oh, no, please don't fight! We all just want to be friends!  
  
Everyone gives the Narrator a stange look.  
  
Brock: There's something about that guy...  
  
Ash: What, that he dresses funny?  
  
Misty: For once, I agree with you, Ash. He looks like someone from WWF!  
  
Narrator: Please do not insult me. These clothes are all I can afford from my low income.  
  
Ash: Whatever. What were we fighting about, anyway?  
  
Brock: I can't remember.  
  
Misty: Oh, just forget about it.  
  
Ash: But we did forget!  
  
Misty: Well, Good!  
  
Brock: Are you sure it's good? Maybe he's losing his memory!  
  
Misty: I must have hit him on the head with a frying pan one too many times.  
  
Ash: What frying pan? Did you just hit me, Misty? Ow! It hurts!  
  
Ash starts crying.  
  
Misty: What are you crying about, Ash? I didn't even hit you, fool.  
  
Ash: You didn't?  
  
Misty: No.  
  
Ash: Well.... It still hurts!  
  
Ash sobs loudly.  
  
Brock: What a baby!  
  
Misty: I'm beginning to wish I did hit him...  
  
Narrator looks shocked.  
  
Narrator: Are you all always this mean to each other?  
  
Brock: Yeah, pretty much.  
  
Narrator: But...this is a children's story!  
  
Ash: It is?  
  
Misty: Story? I thought we were a video game!  
  
Brock: Or a TV program!  
  
Misty: Or a movie!  
  
Brock: Or merchendice!  
  
Misty: The list goes on and on and on and on...  
  
Ash: Yeah! I'm famous!  
  
Brock: Hey, shouldn't we be getting money from all this?  
  
Misty: Yeah... we're Pokemon characters, after all.  
  
They all glare accusingly at Narrator.  
  
Narrator: Okay... so maybe my income isn't as low as I implied...  
  
Misty: He has all our money!   
  
Brock: Get him!  
  
Ash: Raaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhh!  
  
Ash tackles the Narrator. Narrator falls to the ground. Ash starts punching him.  
  
Narrator: (in between punches) But wait... you don't understand! I...don't...have..the...money!  
  
Ash: What?  
  
In his moment of confusion Narrator pushes Ash away. His kilt is blown up by a gust of wind. Misty and Brock look sick.  
  
Ash: Hey, what's the matter, Brock? You look sick.  
  
Brock: The scottish really don't wear underpants...  
  
Misty: Eeeeeeeeeewwwwwwwwwwwwww!!!  
  
Ash: So what? neither do I!  
  
They all turn and stare at Ash in disgust.  
  
Ash: What? What did I say?  
  
Misty: That's just disgusting, Ash!  
  
Ash: Seriously, I don't remember what I said!  
  
Brock: Never mind, Ash. You don't WANT to remember!  
  
Ash: Yes I do!  
  
They all ignore him.  
  
Misty: So, Narrator, if you don't have the money, who does?  
  
Narrator: Author does... I don't get paid until the story's finished...  
  
Narrator holds a hand over a black eye.  
  
Ash: Hey, what happened to your eye? That must hurt!  
  
Narrator: (in a quiet voice) Yes. It did hurt.  
  
Ash: I mean, they must have really whacked you hard!  
  
Narrator: I guess they did...  
  
Ash: But, really, it's like all purple and gross and all...  
  
Misty: Ash, If you know what's good for you, SHUT UP!  
  
Brock: Hey, we should get on the SS Anne, now. It's already getting dark.  
  
Ash: Yeah, good idea! Follow me!  
  
Ash heads in the direction in which they came.  
  
Misty: Uh, Ash? The SS Anne is that way!  
  
Ash: I knew that! I did...  
  
Narrator: With that said, our heroes board the SS Anne and get a room so they can rest their sleepy heads, because it is a big day for them tommorow, and they want to get up bright and early!  
  
Misty: Get up early? Forget it! I'm not getting up till at least ten thirty!  
  
Ash: But it's my birthday!  
  
Misty: Your point being?  
  
Ash: you should get up early so I can get my presents early!  
  
Brock: Uh oh!  
  
Misty: What?  
  
Brock: Uhh.... never mind. Look, I want to go and have a walk around Vermillion City. I'll see you in the morning. Bye!  
  
Brock runs off. Ash doesn't seem to notice.  
  
Ash: Well, I'm going to sleep so my birthday comes early! Good night!  
  
Ash falls asleep and immediately starts snoring loudly.  
  
Misty: At least I came prepared!  
  
Misty pulls a pair of socks out of her bag and stuffs them in Ash's mouth. The room is suddenly much quieter.  
  
Misty: That's better.  
  
Narrator: With that, Misty falls asleep, while Brock franticly searches the streets of Vermillion City for a present for Ash.  
  
Brock stops infront of a shop that says "Women's wear"  
  
Brock: Well, this is the only shop I haven't looked in. If i can't find something here for Ash... well, I dunno what's gonna happen.  
  
Brock enters the shop. Ten minutes later, he comes out with a shopping bag.  
  
Narrator: What could Brock's mysterious present be? We'll find out tommorow, I guess!  
  
Sunday 10th Sept 8:00am Bedroom on the SS Anne  
  
Brock wakes up. He looks around the room grogily. no one else moves.  
  
Brock: Uhh...  
  
he falls back asleep.  
  
Sunday 10th Sept 9:00am Bedroom on the SS Anne  
  
Brock wakes up again.  
  
Brock: (yawn) Good Morning.  
  
There is silence.  
  
Brock: The others must be asleep.  
  
Brock falls asleep again.  
  
Sunday 10th Sept 10:00am Bedroom on the SS Anne.  
  
Brock wakes up.  
  
Brock: Hello?  
  
There is still silence.  
  
Brock: Oh well.  
  
He falls asleep yet again.  
  
Sunday 10th Sept 10:30am Bedroom on the SS Anne.  
  
Misty wakes up.  
  
Misty: Hello?  
  
No answer.  
  
Misty: STOP SLEEPING IN YOU LAZY BUMS!  
  
Brock: Ahh!  
  
Brock falls of of the bunk bed and lands on the ground with a loud thud.  
  
Misty: It's about time you woke up!  
  
Brock groans.  
  
Brock: Why me?!  
  
Misty: Hey, Why isn't Ash up yet?  
  
Brock: He must be still asleep. Maybe you should have some more beauty sleep too! You look like you need it!  
  
Misty: I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU TWO!!!  
  
she storms off.  
  
Brock: Oh well.  
  
He falls asleep on the floor, snoring softly.  
  
10th Sept 12:30pm Bedroom on the SS Anne.  
  
Brock wakes up.  
  
Brock: Uh...I better get up...  
  
Brock gets dressed. He pulls his present from under the bed, which is in a red box tied with a sliver ribbon.  
  
Narrator: Awwwwwwwww, isn't that pretty.  
  
Brock: (sarcasticly) Yeah, I'll give you the ribbon to wear after Ash's finished with it.  
  
Misty enters.  
  
Misty: Finally, you're up!  
  
Brock: Yeah. Where's Ash?  
  
Misty: I dunno. Maybe he's still asleep.  
  
Brock: Ash? Still asleep? Come on, you know he never sleeps in!  
  
Misty: Well, I haven't seen him since last night.  
  
Brock: We better check on him.  
  
The two of them approach Ash's bed. They pull back the covers.  
  
Brock: Hey, why does Ash have a pair of socks in his mouth?  
  
Misty: Maybe it's a midnight snack...  
  
Brock shakes him gently.  
  
Brock: Wake up, Ash!  
  
Nothing happens.  
  
Misty: Here, let me do it.  
  
Misty grabs Ash by the shoulders and shakes him hard. Nothing happens.  
  
Brock: Hey... why is his face so blue?  
  
Misty: That can't be good.  
  
Brock pulls the socks out of Ash's mouth, which are covered with slober. He isn't breathing.  
  
Brock: Oh my god!  
  
Misty: What?  
  
Brock: He's dead! Ash is dead!  
  
Misty: So?  
  
Brock: But Misty... he's dead!  
  
Misty: People die all the time.  
  
Brock looks at Misty suspiciously.  
  
Brock: There's something you're not telling me, Misty...  
  
Misty looks nervous.  
  
Misty: What are you talking about? What wouldn't I tell you?  
  
Brock: Well, for a start, how did your socks get into Ash's mouth?  
  
Misty: I don't know!  
  
Brock: Oh, I think you do know, Misty. I think you know everything.  
  
Misty: No, Brock! I-  
  
Brock: Don't lie! I know you did it!  
  
Misty is now in tears.  
  
Misty: Please! How could I-  
  
Brock: MURDERER!  
  
Misty grabs a statue from a desk in the room and slams it into Brock's head. He drops to the ground. Misty looks at him.  
  
Misty: You shouldn't have questioned me, Brock. Now you have paid the price!  
  
Misty laughs crazily. Narrator looks scared. He reads frantically throught the script.  
  
Misty: What's the matter, Narrator?  
  
Narrator: Oh, nothing's the matter! Nothing at all!  
  
Misty: You can't be scared of me, can you? After all, it is just a story...  
  
Narrator: O-of c-c-c-course I'm n-not scared...  
  
Misty: Good. Now, continue the story, will you?  
  
Narrator: Sure. Of course. I can do that. Meanwhile, on some other place on the ship...  
  
Jessie: Meowth, I thought you said that little twerp was having a birthday party here!  
  
Meowth: He is! Well, I 'tought 'e was. He should 'ave been 'ere an hour ago.  
  
James: Well, He might still be watching Seseme Street. That doesn't end until one.  
  
Jessie: Don't tell me you watch Seseme street too!  
  
James: Of course! Don't you watch it?  
  
Jessie & Meowth: NO.  
  
James: Well, you should. It's really good! Big bird is so hansome!  
  
Meowth: Uh...ok...  
  
Jessie: We should get him brainwashed.  
  
Meowth: He is brain washed! Just listen to him!  
  
James: (Singing) I love you. You love me. We're one big happy family...  
  
Jessie: Well, we'll just have to deal with him. Does everyone remember our plan?  
  
Meowth: Of course I remember, but how is it going to work if the dork doesn't come?  
  
Jessie: Well, we'll just have to find him, won't we?  
  
James: My nappy needs changing!  
  
Jessie and Meowth groan in horror.  
  
Back in the bedroom...  
  
Author: Hey, where's Narrator gone? He's supposed to be in this scene!  
  
Misty grins to herself.  
  
Misty: I don't know. It's like he just...dissapeared...  
  
Author: Well, okay. I'll read Narrator's lines.  
  
Misty: Everyone's expecting Ash to go to his party. What am I going to do?  
  
She spies Ash's clothes and a black wig in a heap on the floor.  
  
Misty: I couldn't pull it off... could I?  
  
Ten minutes later...  
  
Misty: How about that... I look just like him...  
  
Author: Misty! You can't do this!  
  
Misty: Oh yes I can. And I will.  
  
Author: Well, at least try to sound less smart.  
  
Misty (in Ash's voice) I'm not thick! Your fatter than me!  
  
Misty smiles to herself. Suddenly, she has an idea.  
  
Misty: Hey, let's see what Brock's presant was!  
  
Misty opens the red box with the pretty silver ribbon. She pulls out a pair of edible underwear.  
  
Misty: Oooooooookay...  
  
Misty puts away the edible underwear and the red box with the pretty silver ribbon. She opens the door of the bedroom and steps outside.  
  
Misty: So far, so good.  
  
Author: Misty, crossdressed as Ash, walks into the main room of the SS Anne.  
  
Bunch of people: HAPPY BIRTHDAY, ASH!  
  
Misty: Huh?  
  
Bunch of people: IT'S YOUR BIRTHDAY!  
  
Misty: I thought it was Ash's birthday?  
  
Bunch of people: YOU ARE ASH!  
  
Misty: Oh. Yeah. that's right!  
  
Bunch of people: COME AND OPEN YOUR PRESENTS!  
  
Misty: How do you manage to all say that at the same time?  
  
Bunch of people: WE DON'T KNOW. IT'S A MYSTERY!  
  
Author: The people lead Misty to the center of the room, where there is a huge pile of presents. Misty sits down and starts opening them. The first one contains a hearing aid.  
  
Misty: Hey, who gave me this?  
  
Bunch of people: I DID!  
  
Misty: Which one of you?  
  
Bunch of people: ME!  
  
Misty: Ooooooookay...  
  
Misty opens another present. This one contains a pen.  
  
Misty:  
  
Bunch of people: THANKS!  
  
Misty: (Mutters to herself) Ash's friends are worse than him...  
  
Misty starts to open the next present when the power goes out.  
  
Bunch of people: OH NO! THE POWER WENT OUT!  
  
Misty: (sarcastic) Really? I didn't notice.  
  
Bunch of people: IT DID! SEE?  
  
Misty: Yes. I see now.  
  
Buch of people: BUT HOW CAN YOU SEE? IT'S DARK!  
  
Misty slaps herself on her forehead.  
  
Misty: These people are even dumber than Ash!  
  
Bunch of people: I'LL GO FIX THE LIGHTS!  
  
Everyone except Misty runs off, leaving her alone in the dark.  
  
Misty: Hello? Hello? Dumb people?  
  
James: Hi!  
  
Misty: Huh?  
  
Jessie: You idiot James! We haven't said the motto yet!  
  
Misty: Who is it?  
  
Meowth: I guess it's too late to say the motto now...  
  
James: Don't worry! I'll say my own motto!  
  
Jessie: Okay, why not?  
  
Meowth: you're going to regret that, Jessie.  
  
Jessie: Why?  
  
Meowth: Listen. Just listen.  
  
James: One plus one is two. One plus one is two. One plus one is two. One plus one is-  
  
Meowth: Enough!  
  
James: Aww, but I was just getting to the good part!  
  
Misty: Is that Team Rocket?  
  
Jessie: (sarcasticly) No. We're the Care bears.  
  
James: Cool!  
  
Meowth: Yes, we're Team Rocket, stupid twerp.  
  
Misty: Who are you calling stupid?  
  
Meowth: You, stupid.  
  
Jessie: James, could you get the lights? I can't see anything when it's dark.  
  
James: Oakie Dokie!  
  
Misty: What are you doing here?  
  
Meowth: Stealing Pokemon, stupid!  
  
Misty: I am not stupid!  
  
Suddenly, the lights flicker on.  
  
Jessie: Hey look, it's the stupidest Twerp, Ash! Where's your friends, dummy?  
  
Misty: I AM NOT STUPID!  
  
James: Really?  
  
Misty: No! I have an IQ of 172!  
  
Meowth: Hey... somthin' aint right 'ere... 'e is too... smart...  
  
Jessie: Nah, he's still pretty dumb.  
  
Misty pulls off her wig, to reveil herself as Misty.  
  
Misty: I am not dumb! Ash is dumb!  
  
Meowth: (smugly) I told you somthin' ain't right...  
  
Jessie: Whoa! Misty's cross dressing!  
  
James: You make me cross dress!  
  
Jessie: Quiet, you. This is different. What are you doing in Ash's clothes?  
  
Misty: I'm wearing them!  
  
Meowth: Don't play stupid on us. We know your smart!  
  
Misty: (groans) But you just said I was dumb!  
  
James: Is she smart or dumb? I'm confused, Jessie!  
  
James burst into tears.  
  
Meowth: Oh really, this is so pathetic.  
  
Jessie: Look, Ash... I mean... oh, whoever you are! Just give us your Pokemon and scram!  
  
Misty: I don't think so!  
  
James: Oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooohhhhhhhhhh!  
  
Meowth: What is it now, James?  
  
James: Look at all those presents!  
  
Suddenly, Misty has an idea.  
  
Misty: Here, you take the presents.  
  
James: Cool!  
  
Jessie: I'm getting more than you!  
  
Meowth: Let me at 'em!  
  
Misty sneaks out of the room as Team Rocket tear into the presents.  
  
James: Cool! Edible underwear!  
  
Mewoth: Look at this pen!  
  
Suddenly, the door bursts open, and the bunch of people run through the door.  
  
Bunch of people: WHAT ARE YOU DOING WITH ASH'S PRESENTS?  
  
Team Rocket: Uh oh...  
  
The bunch of people throw Team Rocket off the SS Anne.  
  
Jessie & Meowth: Looks like Team Rocket is blasting off again!  
  
James: One plus one is two. One plus one is two...  
  
Bunch of people: YAY! WE'RE HEROES! LET'S PARTY!  
  
Author: So the bunch of idiots throw a party, and get very drunk.  
  
Misty: Did the readers really need to know that?  
  
Author: Of course. They were the main characters!  
  
Misty: But I thought I was!  
  
Author: (laughs) Yeah right!  
  
Misty: But I killed Ash! and Brock! And the Narrator!  
  
Author: YOU KILLED THE NARRATOR?  
  
Misty: Yeah... what's the point?  
  
Ash & Brock: Hi Misty!  
  
Misty: But wait....I killed you! You're dead! The ghosts have come to haunt me! Ahhh!  
  
Misty runs off.  
  
Ash: What's her problem?  
  
Brock: She's upset that we're not really dead.  
  
Ash: Hey, where's the narrator?  
  
Author: Misty killed him.  
  
Brock: Yeah, and she killed us too. Ha ha ha. No really, where is he?  
  
Author: She really killed him!  
  
Ash: Oh no!  
  
Brock: Where has Misty gone, anyway?  
  
Author: I don't know...  
  
Ash: Why do I have a bad feeling?  
  
Brock: Me too...  
  
Ash: No really, why do I have a bad feeling? What happened?  
  
Author: I can't take this any more! I'm getting outta here!  
  
Author jumps overboard.  
  
Brock: Trust her to run off...  
  
Misty comes running up with a sword on her hand.  
  
Misty: Happy Birthday, Ash! Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!  
  
Ash & Brock: Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhh!!!  
  
The screen goes blank.  
  
--------------------------------------------


End file.
